Transformers: Age of Extinction: D

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me four times - well, I'm just fooling myself. I have no real reason to expect that Transformers movies would suddenly "get better" (I realize how crazy that sounds when I say it out loud) but there's always a part of me that dreams the impossible dream.

If all you're looking for is a three-hour-long highly detailed robot combat orgy with a hint of plot and lots of American flags this might do the trick for you. And honestly, if you enjoyed the other Transformers movies you will probably like this one too.

But as a story this film completely fails. Its fundamental flaw is that for an action movie, the action itself doesn't even make sense half of the time. I'm not even talking about overarching story points or anything like that, but rather about a general lack of continuity and logic.

For example, at one point Optimus runs from attackers while his human friends split in another car. A moment later the humans are the ones being chased and Optimus seems to be just driving around. Another moment later and Optimus is in the middle of fighting some baddie one on one.

Or later on: Optimus and his buddies are all driving together when they're attacked. Optimus and the villain fight and somehow all his buddies just sort of disappear and show up again later.

Same shit, different year. I'm really going to try to skip the next Transformers (2016); I'd recommend passing on this one too.